The Poetry of Naturally Jim

I think the word orang utan does have roots in a variation on "orange" actually.

Part 1:

Sam Tan's grand-nan

Demanded an orangutan

Sam Tan, nan's fan

Ran to nan with Tan's Grand Plan

Nan panned Tan's plan,

Handed him a helping hand,

(having had a grand-nan gander)

in granding Sam's Tan's grand plan grander

Tan's grand-nan manned Tan's band sander,

Sam Tan, a left hander, fanned her

Nan band-sanded Sam Tan's left hand, and

Sam, not understanding, banned her

Part 2:

"Why oh why?" Sam tan did cry

"Why sand my hand? Next, try my eye!

I hope you die, hope we both die!

You made me cry, now fly, goodbye!"

"...sigh..."

"Without Nan, my lend-a-hander

To my plans I still can pander

Nan just doesn't understand

She pans my plans, and sands my hands.

Still I'll catch that orangutan

Then every man will be Tan's Fan."

Tan was on fire, he did not tire.

He, full of spite, worked day and night

On his ape-catchin' contraptions

Watching movies with closed captions

Part 3:

At roughly one the fun was done

So Sam had lunchtime in the sun

He ate some clean greened steamed creamed buns

Poked pointy sticks, admired his guns,

Slammed down Dave Hahn's canned jam flan

Then set out to enact Tan's Plan

Mr. Van Man helped young Sam

Strap the trap to Sam Tan's van

"Mr Van Man, Mr Van Man,

Thanks, I'll pay you when I can, man!"

After visiting his florist

(Henry Benry Benson Morris)

Sam Tan drove down to the Forest

Where in thirds, he heard birds chorus

He unstrapped straps and unflapped flaps

From his strapped up, flapped up trap

He wrapped the gap and turned the tap

And in a snap his trap could trap

He found some soft ground lying around

And on this ground, his trap went down

Sam checked the tapped trap was well wound,

Then drove the Tan Van to safe ground

One time, west of balmy Ghana

Sam had bought a fresh banana,

Charmed it from a harmelss farmer

(who was a part time snake charmer,

and a fan of Wendy Harmer,

and feared, most of all bad Kharma)

In the grounded, wound-ed trap

With tapped up taps and wrapped up gaps

Lay this Charmed, Farmed, Balmy Ghana

Harmless Snake Charmer, pro-Harmer

Kharma-drama Banana farmer's

Festy, ex-fresh west banana.

Ah Somehow Jim, classic...